Where did you put it down? I will never forget that question, hopefully for as long as I live.
It. Such a loaded two letter word. At first, I sat there as though my 'it' was minute. I'm good, I thought to myself... I know God loves me. I'm one of His star players (I say this in a super humble way), but as I sat in that pew-- and listened to that sermon, it became apparent - not only did I have an it, but if I were being honest with myself, I had several its.
Failed relationships. Entrepreneurship and the painful personal growth that comes wth it. Yo-yo weight loss, due to not being all in. The loneliness a set apart life can bring. Wasted years on those who just weren't worth it. All of the disappointments those feelings bring. Being so creative, so driven, so focused that instead of causing me to be at the top of my game, it's quite the opposite, and I'm somewhere between lyrical gangsta and lazy genius. (Which I thought I was talking about today, but clearly God had other plans.)
Oh yes, I have its - lots of them! Those things that seemed right. Looked right. Heck, even felt right, but for whatever reason, God, free will, deemed it not so. And so, disappointment set in. But not just any disappointment. The kind of disappointment that weighs a ton. It keeps your feet glued to the place you first felt its sting. The disappointment that changes your DNA. You know the kind. Because you don't talk about it - because you can't. THAT disappointment.
Oh yes - I have an it or two. The kind that the unnamed woman in 2 Kings, felt when the prophet Elijah told her that in a year, she would be carrying a baby. The kind that double dog dares you to even look like you're going that way towards hope again. Girl-- didn't you learn your lesson the first time? It ain't going to happen, so, you stop expecting, because that keeps you on your feet, right?
But God! God-- He changes it all.
I heard a pastor say once that the devil is after our expectations... And maybe I'm being too deep, but that seems like a blatant challenge to call out my faith....That good is for me. Blessings are for me--GOD is for me. That the ability to expect God to move is just as important as knowing He can.
For you - your its may be a failed marriage, broken home life during your upbringing, children that are doing their own thing, and not listening to wise counsel...maybe you're waiting on your promise of a baby...and you're tired. I'm asking you....where did YOU put it down?
When did you decide that it was too much for you to carry? When did you decide that it wasn't going to happen, and out of sheer protection for yourself, you boxed it up, and put it away?
By the time we made it to the benediction of that sermon, I felt as though all of my little its were running around the sanctuary, happy to be out of their box of banishment. Happy to perhaps be taken back to the place of their promise. Oh yes...the clear realization that I cannot stay here. That my its equals promises from God. Promises that I had written off, perhaps became too tired of waiting, felt that in my timing, things weren't moving quickly enough...and so, I put them down. And stopped expecting.
I'm not sure that this is helping anyone...but I sure needed to process this, BUT, if you, like me, have found yourself with its that have turned into disappointments...pick them back up. And take them back to their place of promise, which is right back to the feet of Jesus. He knows what to do with them. He knows the plans He has for you. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. But, you've got to pick them back up. Get back in the game, and stand on the promise that God created especially for you.
Until next time, friends.